In 1999 I began to read, study and meditate on the book of Song of Songs or Song of Solomon. This had a profound effect on my life. I memorized the first two or three chapters and prayed them through while driving, walking, or anytime I was alone. I listened to Mike Bickle’s CD on praying the Song of Songs.
I listened to it over and over in my morning quiet times. There are varying ideas about how to interpret this book, but I read it as if it was the Lord talking to me and I in turn spoke the song back to him. It was an amazing time and my intimacy with the Lord grew exponentially that year. It was one more important part of the foundation God was building in my relationship with him. The song is a an intimate conversation between lovers. It is full of imagery which is key to touching our hearts. Our heart communicates in pictures. If we look beyond the physical and see the Lover as Jesus we can see His passionate affections and enjoyment of His people. We are the beloved and to Jesus we are all his favorites. We can all read this book, apply it to ourselves and be ministered to.
Please don’t misunderstand the message behind the title of this blog. I am not a shrinking violet who has never shared opinions or taken risks. If you ask my husband he’ll say I definitely don’t have a problem telling him what I think, but my character is a mystery at times. I surprise myself. I act in ways or say things that don’t seem to be me. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this because it would be hopeless to try to figure everything out. In fact my name, Darcy, means dark or mysterious. I’ve often thought why Darcy? I’m certainly not dark in complexion, and I didn’t think I was too mysterious, but the older I get the more I see how dimly I really see things. I am a passive person. I don’t like that. I will listen and not say. I like the inner world of thoughts and the heart. I’m an introvert and a phlegmatic. I’m still trying to figure myself out.
Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem…… Song of Solomon 1:5
I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was five years old. In 6th grade I read two books that deeply affected me. One was Go Ask Alice and the other was about a woman who was an inner city teacher. She taught kids who had been abused in every kind of way. I wanted to help kids who struggled with difficult circumstances. This desire led me to the School of Child Care at the University of Victoria, B.C. For some reason I didn’t go into Education even though I really wanted to teach.
The School of Child Care offered me a program in working with troubled youth not just teaching. I didn’t want to go into social work either (even though I later did go into that field) because I was repelled by the legal aspects of the job. I wanted to do more hands on work. However, once obtaining the degree, I found out I could make better money doing social work. I worked for the B.C. government for thirteen years mostly as a guardianship worker, but I’m very grateful for my education in the field of Child Care. I was fortunate to study under Francis Ricks, Carrie Denman, Jim Anglin, and Alan Pence and other great professors. In my fourth year I took a course called Family Systems Therapy taught by Francis Ricks. This was a fascinating and enjoyable course. At the end of the year we had a wrap up party at Francis’ home. The professors made each of us ‘rules’ for our lives to live by. Mine was: Lighten up, brighten up, stand up and be counted. That rule hit the nail on the head for me.
I always held back afraid to share what I thought. I was afraid of being judged or being wrong. I was under a heavy burden of guilt, shame and lack of confidence even though I could fool many a lot of the time. When I received Christ as my Savior the road to fulfilling that rule for my life became possible. I want to come out of hiding because of guilt and shame. It’s not that I’ve done something so bad or someone has done something so bad to me. It’s just a human problem that some struggle with more than others. Shame keeps us in hiding from God. But when we receive God’s gift of salvation that is the first step to defeating shame, and the second step is coming out of hiding.
While I am coming out of hiding from God, I also hide myself in Him, in the cleft of the rock; I hide in God. He keeps me safe there and at the same time in that safety he’s calling to me to show Him my face and let Him hear my voice. So I’m exercising my voice, both spoken and written. I want to share my voice with God and with others. I want to come out of hiding and step into the light. I want to lighten up, brighten up, stand up and be counted!
My dove in the cleft of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14