Finding a Voice

fuel-song-of-song

 

In 1999 I began to read, study and meditate on the book of Song of Songs or Song of Solomon. This had a profound effect on my life. I memorized the first two or three chapters and prayed them through while driving, walking, or anytime I was alone. I listened to Mike Bickle’s CD on praying the Song of Songs.

mike bickle

I listened to it over and over in my morning quiet times. There are varying ideas about how to interpret this book, but I read it as if it was the Lord talking to me and I in turn spoke the song back to him. It was an amazing time and my intimacy with the Lord grew exponentially that year. It was one more important part of the foundation God was building in my relationship with him. The song is a an intimate conversation between lovers. It is full of imagery which is key to touching our hearts. Our heart communicates in pictures. If we look beyond the physical and see the Lover as Jesus we can see His passionate affections and enjoyment of His people. We are the beloved and to Jesus we are all his favorites. We can all read this book, apply it to ourselves and be ministered to.

Please don’t misunderstand the message behind the title of this blog. I am not a shrinking violet who has never shared opinions or taken risks. If you ask my husband he’ll say I definitely don’t have a problem telling him what I think, but my character is a mystery at times. I surprise myself. I act in ways or say things that don’t seem to be me. I’m glad I don’t have to worry about this because it would be hopeless to try to figure everything out. In fact my name, Darcy, means dark or mysterious. I’ve often thought why Darcy? I’m certainly not dark in complexion, and I didn’t think I was too mysterious, but the older I get the more I see how dimly I really see things.  I am a passive person. I don’t like that. I will listen and not say. I like the inner world of thoughts and the heart. I’m an introvert and a phlegmatic. I’m still trying to figure myself out.

Dark am I, yet lovely, O daughters of Jerusalem…… Song of Solomon 1:5

I’ve wanted to be a teacher since I was five years old. In 6th grade I read two books that deeply affected me. One was Go Ask Alice and the other was about a woman who was an inner city teacher. She taught kids who had been abused in every kind of way. I wanted to help kids who struggled with difficult circumstances. This desire led me to the School of Child Care at the University of Victoria, B.C. For some reason I didn’t go into Education even though I really wanted to teach.

uvic
University of Victoria, British Columbia

The School of Child Care offered me a program in working with troubled youth not just teaching. I didn’t want to go into social work either (even though I later did go into that field) because I was repelled by the legal aspects of the job. I wanted to do more hands on work. However, once obtaining the degree, I found out I could make better money doing social work. I worked for the B.C. government for thirteen years mostly as a guardianship worker, but I’m very grateful for my education in the field of Child Care. I was fortunate to study under Francis Ricks, Carrie Denman, Jim Anglin, and Alan Pence and other great professors. In my fourth year I took a course called Family Systems Therapy taught by Francis Ricks. This was a fascinating and enjoyable course. At the end of the year we had a wrap up party at Francis’ home. The professors made each of us ‘rules’ for our lives to live by. Mine was: Lighten up, brighten up, stand up and be counted. That rule hit the nail on the head for me.

UofV-ChildCare

I always held back afraid to share what I thought. I was afraid of being judged or being wrong. I was under a heavy burden of guilt, shame and lack of confidence even though I could fool many a lot of the time. When I received Christ as my Savior the road to fulfilling that rule for my life became possible. I want to come out of hiding because of guilt and shame. It’s not that I’ve done something so bad or someone has done something so bad to me. It’s just a human problem that some struggle with more than others. Shame keeps us in hiding from God. But when we receive God’s gift of salvation that is the first step to defeating shame, and the second step is coming out of hiding.

While I am coming out of hiding from God, I also hide myself in Him, in the cleft of the rock; I hide in God. He keeps me safe there and at the same time in that safety he’s calling to me to show Him my face and let Him hear my voice. So I’m exercising my voice, both spoken and written. I want to share my voice with God and with others. I want to come out of hiding and step into the light. I want to lighten up, brighten up, stand up and be counted!

My dove in the cleft of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely. Song of Songs 2:14

dove_release2

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Finding a Voice

  1. Pierre Lagacé

    Learned a new word… cleft
    And an underlying message…
    cleft of the rock

    Very nice post.
    Now I know all about you, and I glad our paths crossed.

    Guilt and shame are the two worst things that will lead this world to its destruction.
    Sorry I wrote this last part, but I don’t feel guilty nor ashamed.

    1. Thank you for your comments and for taking the time to read this post. I’m glad to hear you’re not ashamed. No one should have to live their life under the cloud of shame. I’m glad I have learned to overcome those negative feelings. Thank you for visiting.

      1. Pierre Lagacé

        I am the one who thanks you.

        I always take the time to learn who comments on my blogs. This is why I don’t take the time to enter in bloggers’ awards.

        I always read a blogger’s first post. It tells so much about him or her.

      2. Pierre Lagacé

        January 28th, 2008 with Nos ancêtres, the French version of Our Ancestors which I started writing in September 2009 so English speaking people could read it. You can read the first post to know all about this story.

        In August 2009 I started a new one Souvenirs de guerre which also has its English counterpart Lest We Forget…

        More blogs followed because so many people were sharing pictures and stories.

        I like writing and sharing.
        I am not a professional writer and I don’t profit moneywise from all this.

      3. Wow, that’s great. I will go look. Are you still teaching as well? Where do you find the time to do all of these blogs? Excellent work. I’ll be interested to see the war blog.

      4. Pierre Lagacé

        Retired teacher
        Freelance translator
        Obsessive blogger
        Proud grandfather
        Great kids
        Great wife who does not read my blogs…

      5. Sounds wonderful. Great to hear. Does your wife have her own blog? I don’t think my husband can keep up with my blog either. He does 3 of his own too.

      6. Pierre Lagacé

        My son’s wife has one about veganism.

        I read it to spot some spelling mistakes or typos like the one you made…

        Great to heat…

        I am also a copy editor.
        I make some also.
        I am not perfect.

      7. Pierre Lagacé

        You have a few comments I made on your post about Jacques Cartier.
        They are waiting for moderation.

      8. Pierre Lagacé

        I really like that post with the images.

        It’s a good history lesson.

        Of course the Donnacona story is something to ponder upon.

        People idolize famous people who, when you look more closely at what they did, are more infamous than famous.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s